What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance COMPLETE
by Aaron D
Summary: Katt gets kidnapped by aliens, oh no, whatever will we do? COMPLETE!
1. Beautiful Stanger

What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance  
  
by Aaron D. Roberts  
  


  


The bushes rustled slightly in the midnight black. The hunter could see them, his eyes completely adjusted to the darkness. He shouldered his weapon, ready to shoot if his quarry emerged. 

It did. The boar's protruding snout sniffed the ground, searching for the unusual scent. The hunter moved, ever so silently, into firing position. He was one with the target. The kill was all but his. He eased his finger over the trigger, prepared to loose the deadly bolt... 

"Get him, Bow!" an unexpected voice whispered in his ear. 

Bow let out a startled shriek, his bolt flying five yards off the mark and into a tree. "Waaa-aaah!!" The tusker snorted and took flight deeper into the woods. 

"You let him get away," the feminine voice chided him. 

Bow was too busy swearing up a storm and stomping the ground in frustration to hear the chastisement. When he had finally calmed his anger, he faced his companion. 

"Good God! How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that?!" 

Katt winked, the glint of the moonlight in her eye flashing brightly against the stark blackness. "Sorry. Most men like it when I get close to them." 

Bow punched an unoffending tree, then clutched his hand in pain. Katt was a good hunter, almost as good as he was, but their methods didn't complement each other. Bow shot his prey from afar, while the Woren preferred a more hands-on approach. Yet despite his insistence, the girl steadfastly accompanied him on the hunt. 

"D'oooooohhh!!" Bow's ranting began again, his anger renewed. This was, as the Ranger had found out through experience, the best way to relieve tension when dealing with Katt. He would never assault her bodily, not because it was wrong to hit girls---he had no compunctions about that---but because she would most likely tear off his arms and ears if he tried, and then where would he be? 

"Settle down!" the Woren ordered him. Bow did as she commanded, clasping his ears in fear of the repercussions. 

"I hear something," she whispered. "Prey. Let's go." She bounded off on all fours in a northeasterly direction. The Ranger struggled to keep up with her, but could not, for though his spirit was willing, his flesh was fat. 

Bow ran on, striving to avoid the stumblesome tree roots and rocks which blocked his path. His breath now came in painful, burning gasps. His heart pounded loudly in his chest, protesting this unnecessary use. His calves screamed with each stride, his upper legs echoing them in harmony. His arms--- 

"Ow!" Katt yelled as he collided with her. "Watch it!" 

"Heh.....heh...sorry," Bow apologized, leaning against a nearby tree for support. 

"Something's close," she remarked, sniffing the air. "I can smell it. It's a funny scent, though." 

The pair was abruptly bathed in turquoise light. Oddly high-pitched sounds emanated from the glade before them, shadows moving across the light--the form of humanoid shapes. 

"What's that!?" Bow asked. 

"Dunno," Katt said laconically. 

A couple of funny-looking dwarves appeared before them, waddling slowly on their stunted legs. Wait, not dwarves, Bow realized, as not only did their faces have no beards, but their heads had no hair whatsoever. They also possessed no noses, but this lack of nasalitude was compensated for by their incredibly large black eyes. Their limbs were thin and long, while their disproportionately big heads seemed as if they would fall off their necks at any moment. Whatever they were, they were not a clan Bow had ever seen or heard of before. 

Bow cowered behind the Woren, peeking over her shoulder. "The traditional bravery of the Plainsrunner clan," she commented. The Ranger would have told her where to put her bravery, but he was too startled at the moment. 

One of the pair of odd-looking things strode forward slowly. It put out its thin hand in a gesture of greeting. "Hello, Earthlings," it said in a monotonous, nasal voice. "We are visitors from the planet Zzryrznk, in the Mktri Galaxy. We come in peace." 

The second one chimed in, "Perhaps you would like to come visit our ship, where we can perform embarrassing and possibly dangerous experiments on your bodies?" 

"Cool!" exclaimed Katt. "Bow, do you wanna... Bow?" 

Katt's question went unheeded, as the less than nimble Ranger had already begun to flee the scene, screaming with an even greater vigor than when Katt had startled him before. She watched with her keen night vision as Bow scrambled past the trees and out of sight. 

"Oh, well," she lamented. Turning to her new friends, she indicated that they move on. "Let's go, boys." 

One of them raised what might have been a weapon, but Katt wasn't really sure. "What's that?" 

"A simple nerve-tranquilizer," the left one explained. "We will just knock you out for a few moments while we return." 

"Oh, you don't need that, silly! I said I'd go with you, didn't I?" 

The two conversed in a strange, halted language. "Perhaps you are correct," the right one allowed, "but to let you to enter our ship while still conscious is strictly against regulations." 

"Still," the left one added, "we have not had that much experience with willing vic--er, I mean, 'friends' before, have we, Zorkon?" 

"No, Nokzor, we have not. However, I believe we should follow tradition in this case." 

"It would be much more expedient to bring her back conscious," Nokzor argued. "I am most interested in exploring this female's physical form, and for some reason, I want to do it as quickly as possible." 

"Nokzor," Zorkon began, "you are not allowing the possibility of---" 

"Okay, okay!" Katt interrupted. "Just shoot me with the thingy, then." 

"Awfully sorry," apologized Zorkon. "Standard procedure, you know." 

"Of--" Katt began, then felt a sting in her left arm. "coouurrrrssse." She sank to the ground. The last thing she felt before passing out was their thin arms grasping at her and lifting her up. 

*** 

The tongues of flame licked at the night air, crackling and dancing in a rhythm all their own. It was hypnotic, really. The orange flames of the top shot up and disappeared, while the yellower ones at the bottom, nearer the pile of wood, jiggled around and tried to get free. It almost took one's mind off of one's problems. 

"Damn, I'm hungry," Rand said to the fire. 

"Yeah," Sten agreed. 

"Ditto," echoed Ryu. 

Nina, of course, was hungry as well, but as a member of the Wyndian royal family, she had enough manners beat into her to refrain from stating the obvious. A princess should never reveal weakness. 

And as for a prince, well, Jean had given up on waiting for the hunting party's return with food, and had dug up a huge, juicy earthworm from the ground. The annelid was almost two inches thick and a foot and a half long, which, according to Jean's culinary tastes, made for some good eating. The prince of SimaFort was now sleeping comfortably and well-fed beside the fire. 

"There are times when I envy Jean," Sten said. 

"Trust me," Ryu replied, shuddering, "you don't." 

"I agree," stated Spar from where he stood, almost out of sight. "The idea of eating an earthworm is quite disgusting." 

Rand leaned forward, resting his face on his crossed legs. "Shut up. The idea of eating anything is disgusting to you, Mr. 'I Can Absorb Any Food I Need From The Ground.' Why don't you come a little closer to the fire, grass man?" 

"Don't even joke about that," Spar warned, his flammable body quivering in mild anger. 

"How far are we away from Wyndia?" Nina asked, more to stave off any more harsh words than of any real curiosity. She knew that when they reached her hometown, her journey with these friends was over. They all thought that she would resurrect the Great Bird which was to fly them all to Evrai, but in reality, she would become it, losing all sense of herself and becoming little more than a dumb animal. 

"About two days, I think," Ryu answered. That was the hardest part of it---losing her chance with Ryu. The big dragon had captivated her thoughts since she'd met him, though she couldn't truly fathom why. Admittedly, he was the most attractive man of any in the group, but that wasn't saying much by any means. 

As Nina thought of it, she understood that transforming into the Great Bird was probably the best choice for her. She had no future as long as the Black Wings adorned her back, and as the Bird, she would have no way to bring her family to ruin, and she could still help her companions. 

As she wandered in thought, she found herself staring at Sten blankly. Oops--he had seen it! He winked, then raised his eyebrows invitingly. Outwitting the constant attentions of the Highlander had been quite a chore for the young princess. Nina was never certain if his advances were serious or playful, but she knew Sten well enough to realize he'd not be one to refuse a roll in the hay with her if she offered. 

"Tell me that story again, Sten," Nina said. 

"Which one?" 

"The one about the Emerald Idol of Anar-kan," she clarified. 

"Alrighty," he began, warming up to the idea. "I was on a campaign in the south of the Urkan nation---that's near the desert, if you didn't know. Anyways, the Urkans are fiercely loyal to their God, which is not the same God as St. Eva's---not many people know that. In fact, if I heard correctly, it's a female God, at that, so I guess you'd call it a Goddess, but they never do. So, the Urkans hired my company to fight a battle against the Anari, who occupy the land just east of theirs. I usually try to stay away from holy wars, nasty things, but the pay was right, so..." 

Hah! Sten usually tried to stay away from holy wars! What did he think he was involved in now? Perhaps he had the same problem as the rest of the group---they were too caught up in events now to leave well enough alone. Just as she was. Soon enough, though, she would have no more worries. 

Nina had heard this story more than ten times, and though it changed a little with each telling, she felt confident that she could tune it out completely and not miss anything. Still, she wanted to enjoy these last days with her friends a bit more, so she paid close attention to the Highlander's tale. 

"...and as I walked up to it, the idol spoke to me, it did, it said, 'Passing traveler, set me free, and I will grant you wishes three.' Now, I'm a resourceful guy, but I just couldn't see how I was supposed to set an inanimate object free from bondage or whatnot. I asked the thing what I was supposed to do, but it said it had some sort of evil curse on it that prevented it from telling me. In rhyme, of course. So there I was, no idea what to do, no help from the statue, and---" 

"Hold on," Spar interjected from his faraway vantage point. "The last time you told the story, the statue _did_ tell you what to do." 

"Yeah, that's right," said Rand. "It told you to visit the Mystical Moon Maiden and learn the Magical Moondance. Then, in order to free it, you had to do the Moondance on its head while sprinkling parsley around in a circle." 

"Who's tellin' this story, anyway?" Sten demanded. "Like I was saying, I had no idea what to do, and _no_ help from the idol," with this the Highlander glared at the two, daring them to correct him again, "when I got an idea. So I went to see an Anari shaman, you know, see if he had the scoop on what to do, right? He says..." 

Nina smiled. She didn't remember exactly whether Sten was right or wrong, but she had more faith in the grass man's memory than in Sten's. Still, the small changes he put into his tales were probably more the work of an artist than simple forgetfulness. Nina laughed to herself. Rather, the work of a con artist. 

Her eyes looked up as she heard a rustling in the woods. Ryu leapt to his feet, hand on the sword slung across his back. "Bow, Katt?" he called. "That you?" 

No response. The others also stood, save Jean, still snoring away. Nina braced herself, a defensive spell on her lips. 

"AAAAIIIIEEEEE!" A horrible, fear-inducing scream. Nina hesitated no longer, casting the weave that she had held at the ready. A magic wall formed into place around the princess, capable of repelling all but the most fearsome assault. 

Bow burst through the underbrush, running towards the campsite and into Nina's forcefield at full speed. The Plainsrunner grunted as he bounced backwards and landed on the ground, still panting and screaming. 

"Bow!" Ryu yelled. "What is it? What happened?" 

"AAAIIIEEE!!!" Bow continued his thrashing. 

Ryu put his hands on his friend's shoulders. "Bow! Snap out of it!" 

"I'll handle this," Rand said menacingly. He advanced on the convulsing Ranger and punched him in the stomach, hard. 

"Ooooof!" Bow replied. "Hey!" 

"Are you gonna tell us what's going on, or do I have to hit you again?" Rand threatened. 

"No!" Bow pleaded. "Wait! Katt and I were hunting, and we found these little green guys, and they tried to kidnap us or something, and---" 

"Green guys?" Ryu questioned. "You mean lizardmen? Ooh, I hate those guys!" 

"No, it wasn't lizardmen, it was---" 

"Some more of Jean's clansmen?" Rand asked. "I knew that clan was weird. Well, if they're up to no good, then---" 

"No! It wasn't them either!" 

"Well, then who was it?" Rand demanded. 

"I don't know! They said they were from planet Tharxax in the Morti Glaxial region or something like that." 

"Amazing!" Spar exclaimed. "An alien lifeform has visited our world. What did they say, Bow?" 

"Well," he began, "they said that they came in peace, and---" 

"That must have been what was so frightening about them," Sten mocked. 

"Arrgh!" Bow expostulated. "They said that they wanted to do weird experiments with our bodies, and well, that's it." 

Spar took a few steps closer to the fire, an act of remarkable courage for the grass man. "What happened to Katt?" 

"Well, the last thing I remember was that she thought it sounded like fun." Bow struggled to stand up. "Then I...ran away, I guess." 

"Katt would never say that," Ryu insisted. "These...what did you call them, Spar?" 

"Alien lifeforms," the grass man supplied. 

"These...aliens must have brainwashed her. I don't believe she would actually enjoy having her body poked and prodded by some kooky strangers." 

The remaining men exchanged a long glance, once again, with the exception of Jean, who was now mumbling something about yellow finger paint. 

"I believe it," remarked Sten. 

"Me, too," said Spar. 

"Yup," agreed Rand. 

"Come on guys, this is serious!" Nina put in. "We've got to save her! We all know that Katt doesn't always do a lot of....well, thinking before she acts." 

"Boy, that's the truth," declared Sten. 

"You're right," said Spar. 

"Yup," agreed Rand. 

"Even I can't argue with that one," Ryu added. 

"So, let's get going!" Nina prodded. 

Rand took a moment of his time to wake the slumbering Jean, and, after a few attempts at explanation, decided that prince of SimaFort wasn't going to understand the situation even after five years' worth of painful discussion. Therefore, he simplified a bit and told Jean that 'bad people' had kidnapped Katt and that they had to rescue her. That did the trick. 

Jean smiled. "Ah, _mes amis_, going to the heroic rescue is so...heroic, _non_? We shall ride to the captive fair maiden and free her from the villains! Surely victory is in our hands, for..." Jean stopped. He was all alone. Grabbing his rapier, he hurried off into the woods. 

"Ah," he said to himself, "my friends are so caught up in their heroism that they forget to wait for my auspicious self. _Tres bonne_!" 

*** 

Katt awoke with practically every part of her body aching. She could count the unaffected parts on one hand, though she was unable to do so because she was currently strapped to a table. She discovered this as she began to sit up but was unable to do so. 

A cool breeze wafted across her body. The Woren had no idea where the draft was coming from, as it was a great deal cooler than the air had been in the forest. The cold air also revealed to her that she was no longer clothed. 

"What the hell...?" she asked of no one in particular. 

A small whirring sound interrupted her ponderings. From her limited field of vision, she could see that one of her new friends had entered the room she was now in. Or, at least, it looked like a room, except for the odd-looking plants that surrounded her. 

"Ah, I see you are awake," her host murmured. 

Curiosity overwhelmed her, and she shot a barrage of questions at him. "Where am I? Why's it so cold in here? Where are my clothes? Why am I so sore?" 

"Easy, human female. I will explain." 

"My name's Katt," she informed him. 

"Yes. Well, you are in our ship, as we told you earlier, and the reason the temperature is much lower here...well, that's what my people are more accustomed to. Your planet, for the most part, is sweltering to us. 

"And," he continued, "the removal of your garments was necessary for the examination to be completed. That, by the way, is also the reason for your physical discomfort." 

Katt was disappointed. "You mean I missed all the fun?" 

"Well, the 'fun' is not quite over yet, though my comrade Nokzar certainly obtained a great deal of enjoyment from your examination." The diminutive alien brought out a notepad. "I must first ask you a few questions. Standard procedure, once again." 

The Woren nodded in assent. She was still angry about missing the physical experiments, but there was no sense in being rude. Maybe they'd start over again later. 

"Are you a healthy representative of your species?" 

"I think so," she answered. 

"And the one we found with you, it appeared...more than a little different from yourself. Was that because it was a male of your race?" 

Katt thought about that. "No, I mean, he is a man, but we look different because we're of different clans." 

"Clans?" Her host, which she had deduced to be Zorkon, looked disoriented. 

"Yeah. There are a lot of clans. I don't know how many. I'm a Woren, he's a Plainsrunner." 

Zorkon wrote something down. "If you were to guess, how many would you say there are?" 

Pursing her lips, the Woren thought. "Let's see...there's the Woren Clan, the Plainsrunner Clan, the Water Clan, the Lake Clan, the Farm Clan, the Wind Clan, uh, the Yraal Clan, the Urkan Clan, the Highlander Clan, umm...the Music Clan...I'm sure there's more." 

"That many?" Katt thought that if Zorkon had possessed eyebrows, he would have raised one at that point. "And all have differing characteristics?" 

"Yeah," she responded. "Some more than others, though. Like, Yraalis and Urkans, they look mostly alike, except for the colors." She considered it some more. "The Dragons, too, and the Music Clan." 

"Dragon?" 

"Oh, did I miss them? There's only a few of 'em. Ryu's one. They look pretty normal, most of the time, but they can transform, if they want to." 

Zorkon wrote some more information on his pad. "Was this 'Ryu' the male who was with you when we met?" 

"No," Katt said, stretching her sore muscles as best she could, "Ryu was back at our campsite waiting for us." She wished she could massage her irritated backside. "Um, say, could you do those exp'rments on me again, do you think? So I could watch?" 

"What?" 

"Oh, never mind," she answered quickly. "Do you want to meet Ryu? I could introduce you to him." 

Zorkon's eyes narrowed. "Perhaps that would be...a good idea." He began to leave the chamber. "Oh, I have one more question for you: Why is it that your mammary organs seem to be much larger than is necessary for the feeding of your young? I must say, they are quite huge." 

Katt grinned. "Really? You think so? Cool!" 

*** 

_Will our heroes be able to rescue Katt from her unwilling...err, um, semi-unwilling captivity? What evil and exciting experiments will the aliens try next on the innocent Woren? Did Jean ever catch up with the others? What is the square root of 169? Is Katt really as well-endowed as her hosts seem to believe? _

Find out in Part 2 of "What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance": "I Hate Aliens," or "Get Back to Where You Once Belonged." 


	2. Get Back to Where You Once Belonged

What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance  
  
by Aaron D. Roberts  
  
_Part Two_  
  


  


"I think this is it," Bow said. The Plainsrunner had led his friends, as best he could, to the place where he had bravely fled from possible danger. Sure enough, as they quested beyond the field of trees, the telltale blue light began emanating once again from the small grove. Bow edged back a few steps. "Uh, buddy, why don't you take point this time? My crossbow's really suited for long range, anyway." 

"Sure," Ryu agreed happily. Ryu always took point. Ever since they were kids, Bow had finagled his best friend into always leading the way into peril, and now it was almost a source of pride for the dragon. 

Ryu led his companions toward the flashing aura, sword at the ready. Soon, they had encountered the source of the light: a large, metallic disk which seemed to hover a few yards off of the ground. 

"Split up and search for a door or something," Rand suggested. 

They did so, and when they reassembled on the north side of the monstrosity, no entrance had been found. The metal disk was seamless. 

"It's impossible," moaned Spar. "We might as well give up. Life is so meaningless, anyway. The only satisfaction one can get is by consuming and interpreting the wisdom of the ancients---" 

"I know!" Sten interrupted. "We can dress up as wandering minstrels and trick our way in! We'll go back to town, get some disguises and instruments, and---" 

"That's dumb," criticized Bow. "Why don't I take out my lockpicking wire and try to insert in somewhere in the body of the thing? There may be a secret switch." 

"No," Rand dissented. "I'll just keep pounding on the hull of the ship until it gives. That'll get us in." 

"I personally like the traveling troubadors plan myself, _mes amis_," Jean asserted. "_C'est magnifique_!" 

"I said that it's stupid!" Bow yelled. 

"---your roots wither, your leaves fall off, and you plummet though a spiraling circle of chaos and despair until you---" 

"---oh, and then, when we get in, we can do the Moondance! I'll teach it to all of you guys! It's really easy. I don't know where we'll get the parsley, though, it's pretty rare in these parts---" 

Nina had bore just about all of the brainstorming she could stand. "_SHUT UP!! ALL OF YOU, JUST SHUT UP!!!_" 

The abrupt silence was only broken by the chirping of crickets and locusts. 

"You guys and your 'ideas'!" Nina ranted, her princessly imperiousness shining through. "You haven't got a single brain amongst the lot of you! Here I am, about to sacrifice myse...uhhh, sacrifice myself to St. Eva because of your massive stupidity!!" Wow, she'd almost let _that_ one slip. "Ryu's the only one with enough wits to shut up and think seriously about what's going on here and, hey, where is Ryu, anyway?" 

"Dunno," answered Rand. He and the others looked about them. Ryu seemed to have disappeared at some point during the discussion. 

Bow shivered visibly. "Maybe they got him, too..." 

All of the companions heard the ring of metal on metal. "Hey, you stupid aliens!" Ryu shouted from some distance away. 

Nina slapped herself in the forehead. "Oh, no." 

They raced to find the dragon, who was currently brandishing his broadsword and rapping it repeatedly against the craft's hull. "Come on out!" he challenged. "I dare you! You'd better listen to me or I'll give you a taste of ol' Betsy here!" 

"Sounds like a plan," Sten commented. He, along with Jean, Spar, and Rand, each followed Ryu's lead and began to bash their weapons noisily upon the metallic disk's surface, howling madly all the while. Bow, meanwhile, cowered silently about four feet away from the noisy quintet. 

Nina strongly resisted the urge to cry. 

*** 

"I say, Zorkon," Nokzor uttered in all sincerity. "I do wish you'd have let me interrogate our fine feminine subject there." 

Zorkon groaned. While he had suspected Nokzor's rather unusual romantic leanings for some time, he was still loath to bring the subject up for discussion with his comrade. "I felt I could do it in a more efficient and timely manner," he explained in diplomatic language. _Without getting my sensory tentacles in places they shouldn't be,_ he thought. He shuddered. The female was indeed a healthy specimen, but the thought of copulating with her? Revolting. 

Zorkon realized that he was under obligation to report any mental deficiencies he had found in his partner to the Galatic Surveillance Inquiry Board, but he had refrained from taking such action because, simply put, Nokzor was his pouch-cousin. As their mother-aunt had told him, "The family unit always comes first." However, the Zzynakoid was getting fed up with his cousin's odd urges, and, as a man on the track to advancement, he knew that Nokzor was holding him back. The time was not too far off when he would have this out with his cousin. 

Now, however, was not that time. "Nokzor, the female told me something most interesting. It seems that intelligent life on this planet has developed from several different sources, each coexisting in a subtle harmony with the others." 

"Really?" Nokzor's eyes widened with interest. "And they have not obliterated one another, no species has come to dominance?" 

"Indeed," replied Zorkon. "And, what is more, they all speak one language as well." 

Nokzor stood up. "This is unprecedented! Think of the recognition we will receive when we return to the Council with our findings!" 

Zorkon had already been pondering that same notion. "I think we may be in line for some special commendations, if---" 

A small alarm went off, beeping incessantly. Nokzor pressed a button, activating the viewer. A group of some natives was bludgeoning their ship, with wood- and metal-based weaponry, no less! 

"I wonder what they are thinking? Weapons of iron or steel are no match for our irradiated Mendeleevium hull," Zorkon said curiously. 

"Oh, boy," Nokzor uttered. "Maybe we can experiment on these others, too!" He rubbed his upper appendages together in delight. 

Zorkon was very proud of himself for not punching his cousin in the face. "What action should we take, comrade?" 

Nokzor wasted no time in coming up with an answer. "Obviously they cannot penetrate our hull, that is without question. However, they _could_ provide some entertainment for us before we examine them." 

"Yes," Zorkon murmured, sensing his companion's drift. "I see. The higher-level security drones would subdue them almost immediately. What if we released the maintenance droids to deal with them instead?" 

Nokzor's eyes twitched. "That would provide some interesting moments. And, if they proved too much for the droids to handle, we could always use the security drones as a backup." 

"Indeed," Zorkon affirmed, though in truth he was much more interested in the scientific data that could be obtained from the careful examination and interrogation of these natives. How was it possible that so many races of intelligent life appeared on the same planet? The question intrigued the Zzynakoid. As he could clearly see from the monitor, all of the natives particpating in the attack seemed to be of distinctly different species, yet they all worked in harmony, and also appeared to be speaking the same dialect. He was more than slightly disenchanted with his cousin's obsession with pleasure, both of the physical and emotional sorts. However, a bit of toying with the subjects would appease Nokzor, and cost him nothing except time, which the Zzynakoids had to spare. 

"First, we must allow them access to the ship," Zorkon directed. 

*** 

"Hah!" Spar cried, slapping his vine-whip against the aliens' ship. The young half-man, half-plant saw little use in his current actions---lifeforms this technologically advanced would obviously not be bothered by the simplistic melee attacks of himself and his comrades-in-arms---but he continued his assault because he wished to be accepted by his friends. 

Spar had never had any friends before. Always had members of other clans treated him with disdain, and there were no others of his own clan that were like him; they had all metamorphosed into their advanced Yggdrasil forms, incapable of movement and limited in their interactions with members of other races. Because of his minimal contact with sentient, mobile people, Spar had often fallen victim to the wiles of those members of society with whom integrity was not a valuable asset. 

Spar had been in his female form at the time when the carnival master had captured him. Spar changed genders with the faces of the moon, and this was unique among the people he had met. He almost felt sorry for the others, locked in a single sexual form for their entire lives. However, when the Grass Man (or woman, depending on the time of the lunar phase) had first matured, he had possessed little concept of gender himself. This was why he had accompanied Watts back to the carnival, as the old man had offered Spar a "good time." 

It was over swiftly, and Spar had understood little of what had gone on. Apparently, though, the old riddler had thoroughly enjoyed his experience with her, as he introduced Spar to the carnival master the next day, who used her for the same purpose many times. He was much less gentle than the ancient Watts, and his ardor lasted much longer. Spar began to gradually comprehend what was happening to her as the other girls in the carnival had recounted their own experiences with the lecher. 

She felt like an idiot. Unfortunately, she had no idea how to get out of her situation. Luckily, nature solved the problem for her. The new moon had already begun when the change occurred. It was later than usual, Spar realized, as he usually shifted sexes precisely in time with the moon. He theorized later, after reading several treatises on sexual practice, that it was because of the activity that he had been engaged in. He counted himself lucky that neither the carnival master nor Watts had successfully impregnated him throughout the duration. If that had been the case, the Grass Man would have been held in his feminine form until he carried a child to term. Looking back, Spar had no clue as to how he would have dealt with caring for offspring. Also, he had often speculated as to what the child would have been: a human, a Grass Man, or something in between? The thought alone frightened him. 

When he discovered Spar's male accoutrements, the carnival master had scorned the Grass Man, locking him in a cage and displaying him for public amusement. For a time, Spar was attracted the public in great numbers, but in the span of less than three months, the revenues dropped. The master had another idea; to murder Spar in public would be a huge draw. The show had been scheduled to occur right outside of Tunlan, as the master had determined that the Music Clan had no form of capital punishment. The sight of premediated, intentional death would be something fascinating for them, and would assure an immense income. 

Either through happenstance or fate, Ryu and his fellow warriors came to find Spar. Hope welled up in his chest as he saw the dragon and heard his request. 

"What!" the dragon exclaimed incredulously. "You're gonna kill him?!" 

The master laughed maniacally. "Ha ha! The blood he sheds will be salad dressing!" However, ever eyeful of an opportunity for profit, he offered the rogues another option. "I suppose, if you bring me an Uparupa or ten thousand zenny, I might be persuaded to part with him..." 

"Ten thousand zenny?!" Ryu grasped the hilt of his sword. "That's outrageous! We don't have nearly that much!" He seemed as though he would attack the villain bodily, but his Plainsrunner friend laid a calming hand on his shoulder. 

"Looks like we'll have to find an Uparupa then, eh, buddy?" he said, with more than a hint of force in his words. 

"I guess so," the dragon replied, with malice in his voice. 

Long days passed as Spar waited for his saviors to reappear. The Grass Man had almost given up hope when Ryu, along with the others returned. However, the carnival master reneged on his word and attacked them. Destroying the stranger easily, the warriors freed Spar, who was immensely grateful. 

The Grass Man had learned a valuable lesson. Now, no matter the position of the moon, he hid his gender with his natural growth, bark covering his sprouting breasts as a female, leaves masking his narrowing hips as a male. He found that his disguise fooled most strangers easily, though his closest companions, most notably Bow, had often suspected his androgeny. 

But Spar was far from at peace. He found that he had feelings for Ryu. 

Though he had different physical desires in each of his aspects, his soul remained the same in either. He truly wanted Ryu desparately in as a woman, and respected him as a man. He loved him as both man and woman. Spar knew that romantic involvement with the dragon, while not impossible, was unfeasible, as any man would not want a woman who was male half of the time, so he left his emotions in his mind, where they deserved to be. Rand had once said that Spar was cold, but in truth, he either suppressed his feelings or did not understand them. Though the Grass Man was four times older than any of his comrades, he felt like a babe compared with the others. This was often the cause of Spar's seeming despression. Spar wondered if the other Yggdrasils had experienced the same things he was currently undergoing. 

As Jean would say, "_C'est la vie_." Spar's unrequited love would have to wait for now. Currently, he and his friends were trying to rescue one of their number, the lovely Katt. Spar had often admired her beauty in his male aspect. Also, because of his difference from the others, Spar often felt he had to overdo things to gain acceptance. He screamed incoherently, louder than he had ever screamed before, and whipped the alien object with all of his strength. 

Another light turned on, and a section of metal separated itself from the rest of the construction, forming itself into a ramp. All of the heroes looked on in shock. 

"Looks like we did it!" Bow yelled in triumph. 

"What are you talking about," Sten scolded. "You didn't do anything but hide behind Nina." 

"Yeah, but---" 

"I can't believe it!" Nina shouted in disbelief. "It actually worked! I mean, 'Good job, guys.'" 

"Let's go," Ryu said quietly, once again leading the way. He ran up the plank, his sword unsheathed and ready for battle. 

Spar and the other fighters followed closely, with Nina and Bow taking up the rear. The interior of the construct was clearly metallic, but trees and less distinguishable otherworldly plantlike lifeforms decorated the sides of the corridor. The group stalked forward slowly, unsure of what was dangers to expect in the strange, unearthly environs. 

Sections of the corridor wall slid open, revealing small, checkered boxes, each with small lights on the bottom. "Greetings, Earthlings," a high-pitched voice emerged from the boxes. "I do not think that I need to remind you that you are trespassing. However, perhaps I should notify you of the repercussions..." 

More sliding panels opened. These appeared to be different than the others, as they were hollow. Spar quickly noted their use as odd metallic shapes came forth. The new arrivals were shaped like boxes, only rounder, and each bore a set of legs and arms, some of which were armed with a staff, though the staves were furred at one end, some by thin strands, and others by thicker, ropelike protrusions. 

"What are those things?" demanded Nina. 

"I don't know," admitted Ryu. "but they're obviously here to delay us." He surveyed the area behind them, which terminated in two opposing corridors. "Rand, you take the left. Sten, the right. The rest of us will deal with these monsters." 

"Sounds good," Rand said shortly and ran down the left hallway. Sten, however, hesitated a moment. "Boss, are you sure you can handle them?" 

"No challenge," Ryu assured the Highlander. "Go on. We'll take it from here." Sten nodded and took off down the right passageway. 

_Can Sten and Rand find Katt in the intricate maze of passageways upon the alien ship? What are the fierce monsters that Ryu, Nina, and the others face (hint: you probably already know.)? Will Zorkon be able to overcome his disgust at his pouch-cousin's love of alien females? _

Find out in Part 3 of "What a Marvelous Night for A Moondance": "When Good Zzynakoids Go Bad," or "The Naked Truth." 


	3. The Naked Truth

What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance

What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance  
  
by Aaron D. Roberts  
  
_Part Three_  
  


  


Ryu, Jean, Spar, Bow, and Nina faced down their enemies, the likes of which they had never encountered before. 

"Look out!" The dragon cried as one of the monsters swung its furred stave at Jean. The prince was not nearly fast enough to dodge the strike, and was left mumbling, limp strands of woven synthetic in his mouth. 

"_Sacre_ mmmph! I must say that mmm hempp blugh!" Jean flailed in the monster's merciless grip. 

Suddenly the foe shook loose its staff and placed the rope-covered tip on the ground, no doubt readying itself to vault and attack. Ryu and Jean steeled themselves for the metal creature's furious barrage. Defying all of the fighters' expectations, the monstrosity chose not to use its weapon as a tool of motion, but rather began shuffling its furred end on the ground, leaving a wet streak in its wake. 

"What are they doing?" asked Ryu. 

The other metallic men joined in, moving in ordered lines, each scraping the floor with their staves. For some reason, only the ones with frayed rope on the ends left wet streaks, while the ones with straw-like protrusions on their staffs managed to gather up the dust on the shiny floor into piles. 

"Is it some sort of magic?" Bow cried. 

"I have never seen behavior like this before," commented Spar. 

"It can't be magic!" demanded Nina. "These things have no life!" 

Jean studied the monsters' motions intently. Reaching the only possible conclusion, he turned to his friends. "_Mon Dieu!_, my friends! They are merely cleaning the floor!" 

"You have _got_ to be kidding," Bow said glumly. 

"No, wait," motioned Ryu. "I think Jean's right!" 

The quintet waited, noting the monsters' seemingly artificially implanted set of actions. After a few moments with no hostile moves from the metallic beasts, Nina said. "Should I stun them or not?" She hesitated, holding her magic power in check, not wanting to hurt the objects if they were indeed innocent. 

"I...don't know," admitted Ryu. 

"Whether they are hostile or not," reasoned Spar, "they are still blocking our path. Bow, see if you can pass them." 

"Why me?" demanded the Plainsrunner. 

"Evan's beard!" swore Nina. "I'll do it, then." The winged Wyndian strode forward carefully, attempting to slip through the line of metallic monsters. The nearest one blocked her path, though it did not seem to want to purposefully assault her. 

"Nina, what are you doing?" The dragon's voice seemed worried. 

"Don't worry," Nina assured him. "They don't seem to want to hurt us, particularly, but I don't think that they will let us get in the way of their duties, either." 

"Alright," Bow said quickly. "Zap 'em, then." 

"Are you sure?" quested the Wyndian, looking at Ryu and Spar for confirmation. 

"Yeah," the dragon responded. 

Nina let loose her spell, completing the weave with her final words. Blue lightning struck the beasts, and instead of dissipating, as was usual, the shock continued throughout the metallic men's bodies. They shivered greatly, then lay still. Bow, his courage amplified, walked towards them confidently, and, true to the Ranger's expectations, the automatons did nothing. 

"Let us go forward," the Grass Man suggested. 

"Ah," moaned Jean. "Another quite-fortuitous win for our party. Surely victory is within our reach, my friends." 

"Indeed," said Ryu, though he was not quite so sure as his amphibious friend. 

*** 

"What did that female just do?" asked Zorkon intently. 

Nokzor, currently looking also quite intently at the internal viewing mechanism, was not quick to respond. "That female....is even more interesting than the other one." 

"COMRADE!" 

Nokzor blinked. "What? I am sorry, Zorkon. What did you say?" 

"What did she do?" 

The Zzynakoid checked the readings out on the control panel. "I must confess ignorance, Zorkon. I read something that was most unusual for a moment, but I cannot tell you exactly what occurred." 

"Perhaps these Earthlings are more resourceful than we thought," Zorkon admitted. "Send out the security drones to counter them." 

"Alas, dear cousin..." 

"What now?" 

Nokzor pointed to the internal sensor readout. "I have currently relocated the security drone force to deal with the two aliens which have now infiltrated the western and northern sections of the research laboratory. Do you wish me to recall them?" 

"Yes--no, wait. Leave one to guard each section. Surely one of their number cannot withstand the force of one drone. Send the rest to guard our front flank. If need be, we will deal with the intruders ourselves---though I suspect that will be unnecessary." 

"What if they manage to free the captive female?" Nokzor said inquiringly. 

Zorkon considered the possibility. "That is conceivable, though I must confess she will add little threat to what is already present. She is strong, though..." 

"Yes," said Nokzor wistfully. "Like _biruburu_..." 

"Like what?" 

"I merely think our captive is strong-willed." 

"What in the Twelve Galaxies is a _biruburu_?" 

Nokzor groaned. "Let it go, Zorkon." 

*** 

Sten faced off against another metal monster. This one looked larger than the ones he had seen Ryu and his friends face--- stonger and meaner, as well. The Highlander mercenary drew his knives. 

"Hi," he said. The foe did not answer him. Instead, it drew a mean-looking weapon out from its body. 

Sten had seen a lot of things in his time. Once, he'd fought a crazed Anari intent on taking his scalp. He'd taken on no shortage of trained fighters in his career. More recently, he had faced demons, with Ryu and the others. He'd even stood up to Rand on more than a few occasions. He could take this monster, no question. 

The Highlander hurled a dirk at the cannister-like creature. The sharp knife, edge honed as fine as possible, able to cut through flesh as though it were butter, bounced off the thing's metallic skin. Sten froze. This time, he had no clue what to do or say, not something that happened often to the glib warrior-turned-illusionist. 

"Uh, woops?" he apologized. His foe, wordlessly, aimed his weapon at Sten and pulled its trigger. In that sense, it was much like Bow's crossbow. Sten attempted to dodge out of the line of fire, treating it as a long-range threat, and almost succeeded. He felt a sting in his left arm. The Highlander dropped his remaining knife uselessly at his side. 

Unarmed, Sten knew that he had only one more chance to subdue the monstrosity. Though he had traveled extensively as a sleight-of-hand artist, Sten also had a number of battle magicks at his side, though few besides his companions and his former comrades-in-arms at the Highfort knew of them. Sten shouted a word in the guttural language of magic, but, instead of sharply chanting it, he held it out longer, something he had never done before. 

The results were spectacular. Rather than the traditional fiery explosion, Sten was able to control the flame, holding it directly in the center of his enemy's carapace and extending it to cover its entire body. At its fullest extension, the magical weave formed the shape of a pyramid, engulfing the automaton in a three-dimensional triangle of fire. 

Sten finally let go of the weave, his energies exhausted. He would not be able to perform such a spell again. Drained, his left arm still limp and drooping, he eyed out his opponent once more. Fortunately for the Highlander, his magical efforts had done the trick. The foe's metal body had fused together, and it seemed to be unable to move. 

Sten, gladdened by his triumph, pondered the uses of such as spell. If he shortened the duration, he could expand the range of the weave and attack multiple opponents at once with it. He wondered if Nina knew of such a use... 

But such thoughts were not for now. He rushed to the nearest door, and as he had learned through experimentation, pushed the button on the right side of it. The door, now split into two sections, slid open, revealing the prisoner held within. 

Disappointed, Sten realized it was not Katt. "About time, by cracky," said the old Yraali. "I thought...hey, you're not one of them!" 

"Nope," Sten agreed. He suspected he recognized the old man. 

"That's great!" exclaimed the ex-prisoner. "Oh, and, in case you didn't know, you've stolen over 235 items from people's dressers, you thief, you!" 

Sten was nonplussed by the accusation, as he knew it to be true. "Me and my friends'll try to get you out of here, old man," he assured the Yraali. 

"Thanks," he replied. "Oh, and you might want to know that you've fallen in battle seven times, while Ryu has only fallen twice." 

Sten was once again undisturbed by this revelation. "That's only natural," he explained. "Ryu's built a lot bulkier than I am. I'm made for speed and offense, not stamina." 

"Oh," murmured the old man. "Did you know that there are twenty-seven doors in this spaceship?" 

"No," said Sten patiently. "I didn't know that." 

"You're not making this easy on me, you know," his new friend said angrily. 

"Sorry," apologized the Highlander. 

"Okay," the ancient Yraali replied, most irritated. "I guess you probably don't care that there are only two aliens, either." 

"Actually, I do care about that," Sten assured him. 

"Good. You know, an old man's got to have _some_ entertainment in his life." 

Sten sighed. 

*** 

Katt struggled against her bondage. It was no use. She was firmly strapped to the table. In another time, say, two hours ago, it might have been fun, even arousing, but now, unattended, her wrists and ankles had started to chafe, and she felt completely ignored and useless. Well, not useless, but at least under-appreciated. 

She heard the telltale hiss which meant her door was opening. Ah, good! Her new friends had come back! She waited for their greetings, hoping they wouldn't ask her any more stupid questions. 

To the Woren's surprise, nothing happened at all. The room was completely silent. "Hello?!" she called. 

"Oh, uh, hi, Katt." It was Rand! What was he doing here? 

"Rand, what are you doing here?" 

The big man didn't utter a word. "Hello! Rand! What's up?! Did you meet my new friends?" 

"Uhhh...what?" 

Rand seemed to have been hit by a stupid-ray or something. Frustrated, Katt said, very slowly, "HELLO....RAND! WHAT...ARE...YOU...DOING...HERE? CAN....I....HELP..YOU?" 

"Oh!" Her words must have gotten through to him. "Actually, err, we came to uh, rescue you from those aliens, you know?" 

The Woren was more than a little confused, though it must be stated that this was not something beyond the norm for her. "Rescue me?" 

"Ummm, yeah." 

"Okayyy...Well, if you're going to rescue me, I think you should probably get me off of this table, right?" Katt stated simply. 

Rand did not say a word. 

"Oh, Rand! Get me offa this thing!" 

Katt looked up. Rand's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "I'm sorry, Katt," he apologized, "but I don't think I can move right now." 

"Katt," the big man continued, "do you realize that you're completely naked right now?" 

Oh, God! The Woren was more than a little embarrassed, not for her nudity, which was not only unavoidable but also something she had no qualms about, but for her large friend, whom she knew to be almost twice her age, and, was evidently someone quite inexperienced when it came to physical interactions with her gender. 

She had to distract him somehow! Thinking in a remarkable show of quickness, she shouted, "Rand! What if your mother was here? What would she say?!" Rand choked. "Do _not_ bring Mom into this! Oh, my God!! That'd be a disaster!" Katt's ploy did not seem to be working. Rand resumed his involuntary silent treatment. 

The Woren did some more thinking. Finally, her feline mind exhausted, she gave up. "Okay, then, Rand, if you're ready to go, then go ahead and do it. I don't mind. I'm strapped to a table and completely helpless. You'll never get a better chance." 

Lowering her head, she heard the big man start forward. Katt had braced herself, all of her muscles bunched together when there was an audible click and her right ankle came free. Her other limbs followed. She sat up and faced Rand. 

"Why didn't you---" 

"I'm more of a man than that," Rand rebuked her. He turned his back to her. "Your clothes are in the corner. Your staff, too. Go ahead and get dressed." 

It took Katt very little time to clothe herself, as she wore little anyway. When she was finished, Rand laid his massive hand upon her shoulder, and she felt the little aches and pains she had within her melt away. She moved closer to the big man, and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. 

"Don't," he said angrily, shoving her away. He strode powerfully out of the room, leaving the Woren to follow behind him. 

*** 

Jean fell to the floor twitching. He uttered no cry of pain because his nerves were severed temporarily. 

"Get back!" Ryu commanded, using his sword to keep the drones at bay. 

Nina twisted the False Ring and fired a burst of energy at her enemies, though it had little effect. Spar called out to the alien trees present in the corridor. They either did not hear him or did not understand him. He looked a Bow in confusion. 

The Ranger shrugged, took his crossbow in hand, and aimed carefully, sighting the blinking light on the front of one of the metal monsters. He pulled the trigger, and the bolt sailed towards his foe. It bounced off, hitting the area just one inch upwards of the target---a near miss, and completely ineffective. 

"Damn!" he swore. "What now, buddy?" 

Ryu gritted his teeth. "Stay calm. We'll figure something out." 

_Will Ryu figure something out? Are the alien security drones too much for our heroes to handle? What the hell was the old man doing in the alien detention cell? What gives Quaker Life Cereal (tm) its special, sweet flavor? _

These questions and more will be answered in Part 4 of "What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance": "Draconian Influence," or "Please, Mr. Grass Man." 


	4. Please, Mr Grass Man!

What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance

What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance  
  
by Aaron D. Roberts  
  
_Part Four_  
  


  


The heroes regrouped, unsure of how to handle their newest opponents. These machines were built much less stockily than those they had faced before, and from their actions, were also much more suited to combat. 

Jean lay on the ground motionless. Ryu wasn't sure if the prince was dead or not, but he knew that this new threat had to be handled before he could allow Bow to help his amphibious friend. The big dragon formulated a plan of attack in his mind. He recalled how Nina's electric spell had stunned the other creatures they had fought. She had attempted the weave on these monsters as well, but the effect had only lasted for a few seconds. 

"Okay," he said, turning to the others. "Here's my idea: Nina, cast your lightning weave again. I'll use my power at the same time. That should get 'em. If it doesn't, Bow, I want you to protect Jean, and Spar, you cover us. Got it?" 

The others nodded, Nina already beginning her mental preparations. Ryu sheathed his blade, steeled his emotions, and called forth the power of the dragon that was at his command just as the princess finished weaving her magic. 

"_Na-nanu_!" Nina shouted. Ryu, in his dragon form, had trouble spreading to his full size in the cramped quarters. Wasting no more time, he opened his maw and exhaled. His lightning breath struck the foes from their front as Nina's barrage hit them from the top. Ryu felt his strength waning, and he continued breathing on the automatons for as long as possible before he felt his power slip away. Ryu, the man, knelt to the metallic floor, exhausted. 

"Did it work?" he gasped. 

"I don't know," Spar admitted, standing in front. "They don't seem to be moving." 

A massive clanging filled the room. Ryu struggled to stand upright, and drew his sword again. He had no reserves of power left. If they were going to destroy these things, it would have to be hand-to-hand. 

"All right," the big dragon said, gritting his teeth, "parallel formation. Nina, get in back. Spar, flank me on the left, and Bow on the right. We'll take 'em head-on." 

"Wait!" Bow shouted. "They're not attacking!" 

Ryu peeked around the tall Grass Man, and saw that Bow was right, although the dragon had no idea what the monsters were up to at this point. 

They had turned their rotund bodies to the left in unison, and were moving rhythmically to an odd-sounding song which was coming from---well, it was coming from somewhere, but only God knew where. It had a soft, yet pounding bass line, and some odd sounds, which were from no instrument Ryu recognized, were playing in the higher range. Of course, the big dragon's only musical experience was limited to four-part church hymns, which, he was proud to say, he had sang all four of the parts on--soprano, alto, and tenor in his youth, and as he had gotten older, bass. This song, however, reminded Ryu of anything but religious choral music. 

_Billie Jean is not my lover---  
She's just a girl who says  
that I am the one...  
But the kid is not my son!  
_

"These aliens have an odd way of celebrating," Spar noted as he looked upon the spectacle. "And whatever is singing---I have no idea what race or gender it is." 

Actually, now that Ryu thought about it, the singer did not sound particularly like either man or woman. Strangely, his voice sounded more like Spar's than anyone's, which was not too unusual, because no one was really sure whether Spar was male or female himself. 

"What are you thinking about, Ryu?" Nina asked him. 

Oops! "Uh, nothing. Can we move on?" 

"Most probably," Spar guessed. "However, I can not guarantee that it will be safe." He gestured towards the robots, who were now walking backwards, their feet gliding over the metal floor. 

"Um," Ryu said decisively. "Let's wait a few minutes and see what happens." 

"Okay," agreed Bow, taking the initiative and seating himself comfortably upon the floor. 

*** 

"Nokzor," said Zorkon, looking at the internal readouts, "I cannot believe this! They have disabled our security drones!" 

"That's fascinating, Zorkon," Nokzor replied, seating himself at the breakfast table. 

"The drones are...dancing!! Dancing, of all things! Do we have any in reserve?" 

"I really don't care, cousin," Nokzor replied, bringing out a box of cereal. "I'm too busy getting ready to enjoy a big bowl of my favorite breakfast treat, Quaker Life Cereal™." 

Zorkon was shocked. "What? Comrade, this is no time for a meal! We must deal with these intruders!" 

"Yes, you're right, Zorkon," Nokzor agreed. "Quaker Life Cereal™ _does_ have a special, sweet taste." The Zzynakoid poured himself a bowl. "And its unique crunch makes it all the more delicious." Nokzor whipped out a quart of milk from under the table. He poured it lingeringly over the cereal, savoring every drop. 

"But," he added, "I wonder what gives Quaker Life Cereal™ its special, sweet taste?" 

"I don't know," answered Ryu, coming in from the left door, "but I sure do love it." 

Zorkon nearly had a heart attack, which would have left him with only two functioning hearts. "What...what are _you_ doing here?" 

"Could you pour me a bowl, Nokzor?" Ryu asked, taking a seat at the table. 

"Of course," Nokzor replied, "Quaker Life Cereal™ is to share." 

The diminutive alien poured the big dragon a bowl, and then splashed some milk over it. "That's mmm-mmm good!" said Ryu. 

"Hey!" yelled Katt, coming from the opposite direction, Rand following closely at her heels. "Did I hear something about Quaker Life Cereal™ in here?" 

Zorkon stumbled back against the control console. "What is going on here?" he demanded. 

"Back when I was a kid on the farm," said Rand, completely ignoring Zorkon, "Mom used to start every day with a bowl of Quaker Life Cereal™. She says the vitamins in it help to build strong bones and muscles, and well, just look at me." 

"And," added Katt, "it's part of this complete---what? Oh, it's part of this complete breakfast." 

"That's right," affirmed Nokzor. Suddenly, three apples and four glasses of orange juice had appeared on the table beside the Quaker Life Cereal™. 

"When I'm getting ready for a tough day of fighting mutated monsters and psychotic demons from Hell," said Ryu, "nothing gets me goin' like a bowl of Quaker Life Cereal™." He took a bite. "Once I've tasted its grainy goodness, I've got the energy I need to send those freaks back to the netherworld from which they came. But what DOES give it its special, sweet taste?" 

A security drone shuffled into the control room. "THAT'S---EASY," it said in its synthesized voice. "CHEMICAL-ANALYSIS-INDICATES THAT-IT-IS-SECRET-QUAKER-MAGIC, COUPLED-WITH-LOVE, THAT-GIVES-QUAKER LIFE CEREAL™ ITS-SPECIAL, SWEET-TASTE." 

Spar appeared from out of nowhere. "I don't like eating---I think it's a violent, disgusting process of taking life from others and using it as one's own. But I do love Quaker Life Cereal™." 

Zorkon passed out, as he had experienced one too many shocks. 

"Ah," said Nokzor. "Quaker Life Cereal™. It brings friends together." 

The group smiled. 

_This message has been brought to you by the Quaker Oats© corporation---proud sponsors of "What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance."_

*** 

Sten looked down the two opposing corridors. "I've gotta admit it---I'm kinda lost." 

"Ya durn fool," the old man admonished him. "There're twelve doors down the left side, and seven down the right." 

"Which way should we go?" Sten asked, knowing that the old man had a bevy of information at his disposal, though the Highlander was clueless as to where it came from. 

"How would I know?" his companion responded. 

Sten groaned in frustration. The old man's help apparently came and went in bursts. He had a wide array of trivial knowledge, but when it came time to put it into practice, his knowledge was much less useful than it seemed. Maybe Sten could figure out a way to trick the old man into revealing something. 

"Um, let's see...how many people are down the left hallway?" 

The old Yraali thought. "Two." 

"Okay, and how many down the right?" 

"None." 

Sten racked his brain for a moment. "Okay, I've got it. Of the two people down the left hallway, how many times has each one cast a thunder magical weave?" 

"One has used the Thunder spell forty-seven times. The other is incapable of using it." 

"Could those two be the aliens?" Sten said. 

"I have no idea, sonny!" 

How could Sten put this question into terms that his new friend was able to answer? "How many times have each of the aliens cast a thunder spell?" 

"The aliens cannot use magic. Neither one has ever cast a Thunder spell, or any other type of weave." 

The pieces were starting to fit together in Sten's mind. One of the people down the left hall was either Rand or Nina. The other might have been an alien, but Sten was fairly confident in his own abilities, and even if one of his friends was captive, Sten could most likely free him. 

"Okay," he decided. "We'll go down the left hallway." 

The old man followed Sten down the corridor, the Highlander slowing his pace intentionally to allow for the other's age. After they had passed seven doors (Sten remembered that there were twelve in all), a whirring noise diverted the Highlander's attention. Four security drones were emerging from the wall. 

"I thought you said there were only two people down here, old man!" 

"I did! There _are_ only two people down this hall, sonny! You never asked me about robots!" The old man looked accusingly at the Highlander. 

Sten, ignoring the other's eyes, drew his daggers. He had no energy left to weave another spell. Sten knew he had no chance against four of these monstrosities, and fell back on the last choice he had available. He dropped to the floor and lay motionless. 

"What're you doing?" 

"Shhh!" Sten whispered sharply, without moving. "I'm playing dead. Sometimes a foe will leave you lying on the ground if they think you're dead." 

"Okay," the old man ageed and flumped onto the floor as well. 

The drones shuffled forward slowly. "THESE-EARTHLINGS-SEEM-TO-BE-DECEASED," the lead drone said. 

"PERHAPS-WE-SHOULD-TAKE-THEM-TO-THE-LAB-FOR-STUDY," said another. 

"That's right," the old man said. "We're deader than doornails, yes we are." 

"You _idiot_!" Sten screamed. 

"NICE-TRY-EARTHLINGS," the lead drone said. "BUT-YOUR-CLEVER-RUSE-SEEMS-TO-HAVE-FAILED." 

Rather than reply, Sten threw a dirk at the lead drone's torso. It hit directly in the center, near the big, flashing light. The drone staggered. "I-CAN'T-BELIEVE-THIS. TELL-MY-MOTHER-THAT---" 

"YOU-MORON. ROBOTS-DO-NOT-HAVE-MOTHERS." 

The lead drone's voice box sputtered. "SORRY-I-FORGOT. TELL-MY-WIFE-THAT---" 

"ROBOTS-DO-NOT-HAVE-WIVES-EITHER." 

"TELL-MY-TELEVISION-SET-THAT-I-LOVE-IT." 

The drones stopped in silence. The television set was the most sacred of object for robots; it was the only entertainment source that biological lifeforms had created that was usable by them. 

"DAMN." The drone made a synthesized cough. "I-AM-GOING-TO-MISS-THIS-WEEK'S-_FRIENDS_. I-WILL-NEVER-FIND-OUT-IF-CHANDLER-AND-MONICA-ACTUALLY-GET-MARRRriIEuUlUlhHHhHH..." The drone's eye sensors went black, and it lost its footing. 

Sten's excitement at finding out the drones' weakness was dampened by the tragic scene he had just witnessed. "Damn, I'm, uh, sorry, guys." 

"YOU-WILL-PAY-FOR-THIS-HUMAN! WE-WILL-KILL-YOU." 

Sten weighed the odds. They were not good. Perhaps a bit of subterfuge was in order in this instance. "Wait! Why waste time killing us? He's a machine, right? You can rebuild him." 

"REBUILD-HIM?" 

"Yeah, only this time, you can make him better, faster, stronger than he was before." Sten paused. "All you need is six million zenny." 

"WE-DO-NOT-POSSESS-THAT-MUCH-LOCAL-CURRENCY." 

"Well, I tell you what: Just give me all the money you've got, and we'll see what we can do." Sten held out his hands. The Highlander almost collapsed under the amount of sheer gold that was piled in his hands. "Okay, now go down to the lab and wait for me. I'll be there in a little bit." 

The drones shuffled off, carrying their deactivated comrade and leaving only a small maintenance 'bot remaining. The 'bot was actively sweeping the floor. Sten stuffed as much of the money as he could carry into his pockets, then motioned to his elderly compatriot. 

"Let's get going---huh?" 

"RRRAAAHHGGHH!" Suddenly the droid was covered with a huge mass of armadillo muscle. A few sickening crunches later, there remained nothing of the metal creature but a twisted shell. 

"Hi, Rand." 

Rand looked up at his friend. "Oh, hi, Sten." He began punching the lifeless 'bot again. 

"I think it's dead, dude." Sten found himself unreasoningly apprenhensive. 

Rand stood up and seemed to regain control of himself. "Sorry about that. I guess I kind of lost my temper there." 

Sten heard quick footsteps echoing from the direction which Rand had come from. "Rand! Where'd you go?" 

Katt rounded a corner. "Oh, there you are!" 

Sten blinked. Then, he blinked again. "Katt! You're all right!" 

"Sure," the Woren said, as if she had just now noticed him. "Rand rescued me." It appeared to Sten as if the big man was avoiding Katt's eyes. 

"Great!" Sten exclaimed. "Now all we have to do is find the others and get outta here. Oh, by the way, this is a guy I found in one of the rooms here. He knows a lot of stuff. It's uncanny, really..." 

The quartet was rocked by a tremor in the structure. 

"What was that?" Rand asked. 

"How should I know?" the old man demanded. 

"Wait," Sten instructed them. "You've got to say it the right way...hmmmm..let's see...Okay! How many times has this ship done, err...what it's doing right now?" 

"Seventeen and a half," the old man answered. 

"How can it do anything seventeen and a half times?" Katt said skeptically. 

"Shut up," Sten ordered her. "Okay, old man, what has this ship done seventeen and a half times?" 

The old Yraali grinned. It was nice to be appreciated. "Taken off. It's taken off seventeen and a half times." 

"Taken off?" Rand inquired. "What does _that_ mean?" 

"I don't know, sonny!" 

*** 

"Wow," Bow said, panting in exertion. "I don't know how we got by those things unscathed, but we sure did!" 

"Yeah," agreed Ryu. "I don't know how we did it, either." 

The five warriors had emerged from the corrdior into a circular room, with large metal desks along the walls, each with blinking lights and square-shaped buttons upon them. 

"Come to think of it," added Nina, "I don't remember how we got past those monsters, either. Do you, Jean?" 

"No, _mon chere_. I was oh-so-unconscious when we went past them." 

Spar _did_ recall how he and his friends had braved through that particular hazard, but he wasn't going to tell anyone unless they asked him. So he kept silent. 

A blue-green blur whistled by Ryu and his friends. "What was that?" 

"Surprise, Earthlings!" A little turquoise man appeared in front of the companions, pointed something at Jean, and pulled its trigger. 

The prince looked at his arm, then at his friends, and said, "Oh, _mes amis_, I seem to...be...." Then, he slammed against one of the tables. 

"Boy," remarked Bow, "knocked out cold two times in one quarter-hour. That can't be good for him." 

The ship started shaking under the comrades' feet. 

"Oh, no!" said the alien. "Your friend has crushed the control panel. We are taking off, and the ship may not be controllable!" 

Ryu looked at the alien in confusion. "We're _what_?" 

_What is this mysterious "taking off" that Zorkon and the old man are speaking of? Can Jean shake off the effects of two nerve-tranquilizer shots delivered in rapid succession? How is the American media controlling your thoughts and actions? (** McDonald's™ hamburgers are more tasty than any other food on the planet. The musical stylings of N'Sync are brilliant. You will read "Destiny Defied."**) _

If you want to find out, you've got to stay tuned to...I mean, keep focused on...aw, hell, just read chapter 5 of "What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance": "A Problem of Extraordinary Magnitude," or "Moon over Maekyss." 


	5. Moon Over Maekyss

What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance

What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance  
  
by Aaron D. Roberts  
  
_Part Five_  
  


  


_ When last we left our heroes, the intrepid Prince Jean had been knocked out for the second time and stupidly crashed directly into the control panel of the alien ship, causing it to "take off," whatever that meant. _

Meanwhile, Rand, Sten, Katt, and their new companion had become lost in the maze of passageways that crisscrossed the flying saucer, and had also become hopelessly confused by the concurrent launching of the spacecraft. 

Will they be able to defeat their green-skinned foes? Will they figure out a way to land the ship and return to their quest to bring down the corruption of the Evan Church? Find out----now! 

"You morons!" Zorkon screamed. "Your friend has broken the controls! It'll take us hours to repair!" 

"Fascinating," Spar noted, looking out the window. "Our world is round. So is the moon, merely a ball of rock circling our---uuhh!" Spar collapsed. 

"Spar!" Ryu yelled. He leapt to the Grass Man's side and knelt next to him, placing a steadying hand on Spar's shoulder. "What's wrong?" 

"Ryu," he said shakingly. "The...moon.." He quivered on the metal floor. Then the Grass Man jumped up, screamed and ran out of the control room. 

"Well," Bow commented, "That was unexpected." 

"Yeah," said Nina. "I did not foresee that happening." 

"What happened to him?" Ryu asked. 

"The young plant-being probably was just frightened by the heights," the alien called Nokzor said, sliding up against Nina. "Nothing to worry about." He placed his green hand upon Nina's posterior. 

"What are you doing?" she demanded. 

"Oh, nothing," he quickly explained. "It's just---your wings. They are so...beautiful." 

"That isn't where my wings are," Nina said firmly. She didn't want to think about her wings, anyway. They'd brought her nothing but sorrow, sorrow which was to culminate once she and her companions reached Wyndia, and she transformed permanently into the Great Bird, assuming that ever actually happened. 

"I am sorry," Nokzor said, "but I fear I am much too short to reach them." His hand remained in position, then gave a slight squeeze. "Is this a wing?" 

Nina howled. "Shut up about my wings!" she cried, flying out of the room, in a completely opposite direction than the one Spar had chosen, leaving a very disappointed Nokzor holding a now-empty hand above his head. 

"Once again, I am taken completely by surprise," said Bow. 

"Ditto," Ryu said. He turned to Zorkon. "Is there anything we can do to help you fix the...uh..." He looked around at the controls. "...thing?" 

"No," came the irritated reply, as Zorkon produced a wrench from somewhere. The small green man began re-adjusting the controls, still annoyed, and shoved Jean off of the panel. The prince landed smartly on the floor. 

Jean groaned from his erstwhile position, apparently awakening. "_Mon Dieu_," he groaned, "dare I ask what has happened while I was oh-so-unconscious?" 

"No," said Bow, "You don't dare." 

The Prince of SimaFort was never really fully cognizant of what was going on around him, anyway, so it bothered him little. 

"All right," said Ryu grimly, "let's get going." 

*** 

Sten stopped just short of a corner in the metallic hallway, trying to scout for enemies without revealing his own presence. "Man," he said, "this reminds me of when I was a kid, running around the corridors of Vulcan. I was just a Mig, then, and I was on the run. The Company had tried to have me killed, but I escaped." 

Katt, Rand, and the old man looked at each other in puzzlement. 

"Then I was a Delinq. I met a girl named Meg. She was really cute, only a couple of years younger than I was. One time we snuck up into the Eye, and we spent two days in one of the Execs rec-rooms. It was a beautiful place, full of grass and trees and water. You don't see much of that when you live on an artificial planet. I took Meg in my arms and---" 

"Sten," interrupted Rand, "what the hell are you talking about?" 

"Uh," Sten said, shaking off a daze, "nothing. It was another life, another time. I was a different person then. Now, what were we doing?" 

"Well," said Katt sharply, "YOU were scouting around." 

"That reminds me," Sten said, "I've got an idea." The Highlander turned to the old man. "Hey, old timer, how many badguys are there down that corridor?" 

The old Yraali snorted. "Badguys? You've gotta be kidding me." 

"Well, can you answer?" 

"Okay," the old man said, disappointed. "There are no 'badguys' down that hallway, alright? Next time, you better come up with something better, there, sonny." 

"Sure, whatever," Sten replied, rushing off in the new direction. A few doors later, Sten and his friends came upon a a sealed passage. There was a panel with nine buttons next to the door. "Hmm," the Highlander mused. 

"Obviously," Rand said, "this panel must have something to do with opening the door." 

"Yup," Sten agreed. 

"Let's think," Rand said, thinking. 

"I've got an idea!" Katt yelled in epiphany. She started hitting the door with her hexad staff. "This'll get it!" Katt said between impacts. 

"Rand, can you get her to stop?" Sten pleaded. "You know, pull her away or something?" 

Rand froze. "No," he said softly, barely audible betwixt Katt's thrusts. "I don't think I can do that." 

What the hell was wrong with Rand? Sten, not wanting to physically assault Katt himself, merely tried screaming at her. Eventually, it worked, though the old man said that they had wasted nearly twelve minutes by then. 

"Got an idea," Rand said laconically. "Hey, old dude, how many numbers are there in the code sequence for this door?" 

"Five," came the response, as both Katt and Sten looked cluelessly. What was a "code sequence"? 

"Okay," Rand continued. "This is gonna take awhile. I want to ask the right questions to figure out the code. It should work, if I can figure them out." Rand pondered the dilemma for a moment longer. "Got it. In the first number of the code sequence, how many times is the first button pushed?" 

"None," said the old man. 

"How about the second?" 

"None." 

"And the third?" 

"The third button is pushed once in the first digit of the code sequence." 

"Aha!" Rand shouted triumphantly. "Four more to go." 

After about twenty-six more questions (figure out the code from that, if you want to), Rand had finally figured out the proper sequence, and the door was open. Sten led the quartet through it, carefully checking out any direction from which danger might come, despite the old Yraali's insistence that there was none. 

It was at this point that Sten noticed the dozen-and-a-half robots in the center of the corridor. 

"What the hell is this?!" he demanded of the old man. "You said there were no badguys in this direction!" 

"Now wait just a goldurn minute, here---" 

"Hold on," said Rand. "They're not attacking, they're---" 

"Dancing!" Katt finished. 

Indeed, they were dancing, to some funky music poured out by the slotted boxes mounted on the walls. Sten wasn't worried about that at the moment, however. He was still mad at the old man. "You said there weren't any badguys here!" Sten re-iterated. 

"And there aren't!" the old man shot back. 

"What?! What are these, then?" Sten shouted, indicating the robots. 

"They're not badguys," the Yraali explained. "When you said 'badguys', I thought you meant those who would have specific malicious intent to harm us, and they don't." 

"When I said, 'badguys,' I meant anyone who would get in the way of achieving our goal, which is reaching the others, and they certainly are doing just that!" 

"Well, you should have been more specific," the old man reproached him. 

"All right, but how the hell are we gonna get past---" Rand stopped. 

A new figure jumped in front of the madly dancing robots. Dressed in a shiny red vinyl outfit which was studded with sequins, it began leading the dance and singing. Its voice was horribly, terrifyingly androgynous. 

_Thriller!!!!  
Thriller!!!  
Thriller!!!  
_

"My God," Rand swore. "That's Spar." 

"I don't even wanna know how this happened," Sten said. 

*** 

_And now, this commercial message._

Jean skipped happily down the cobbled street. "_Bonsoir_, Nina," he greeted the Wyndian. 

Nina sniffed, trying to hide her tears. "Hello, Jean." 

"What is wrong, my flower?" 

Nina wailed. "Oh, Jean, Bow stole my Big Mac!" 

"Oh," said Jean, concerned. "Here, _mon chere_, you may have some of my _pommes de terre_----what?" Jean had held his box of fries out to her, but they seemed to be missing, for his hand was empty. 

"Robble robble!" Bow said, flying by the two. 

"Now, Bow," Jean scolded, tripping the Plainsrunner with his rapier. "McDonald's fries are to share!" 

"Robble?" Bow asked. 

"_Oui_," Jean confirmed. "And Big Macs, too. Give me, my friend." 

Bow shame-facedly handed over the Big Mac and fries. Jean broke the sandwich in half, and gave one part of it back to Bow. Then, he swallowed the other half in one gulp. He also devoured half of the fries, and handed the remainder of the box to Bow. "See," Jean pointed out. 

Nina stared at the two, her mouth wide open. Then, she began sobbing again. 

"Things are much better when shared with friends," Jean said, grinning. 

"Robble!" agreed Bow, smiling. 

_McDonald's. We love to see you smile. And we're proud sponsors of "What a Marvelous Night for a Moondance."_

*** 

Bow and Jean followed Ryu down the hallway, dodging the internal security system's automatic guns, firewalls, and electric shocks. Bow rolled underneath a forcefield just a Jean ran right through it. 

"Ouch," said the prince. 

"Wow," Bow said, grimacing. "You must have lost at least forty hit points there." 

"_Quel_?" Jean asked. 

"Never mind," Bow said. They ran a few yards further. "Hey, Jean, what are 'pommes de terre,' exactly?" 

"Potatoes," Jean answered. 

"Why does it take three words to say 'potato' in French?" Bow asked, dodging a laser. 

Jean thought for a moment. "I think, _mon ami_, that the literal translation is 'apples of the earth.'" 

Bow shook his head as a machine gun fired in front of him. He and Jean both stopped. Ryu was at least twelve yards ahead and still going, most likely because, unlike the Plainsrunner and the prince of SimaFort, he didn't enjoy his meals quite as thoroughly. "'Apples of the earth'?" Bow repeated. 

"Well, sure," Jean said. "Ever tasted a raw potato?" 

Bow shivered. "No." 

"The texture is just like an apple, my friend, though it would not taste as good." 

That was fucked up. Come to think of it, why was Jean so out of shape, anyway? How the hell did he get so fat eating worms, flies, and cockroaches? That didn't make any sense. That was a question for another time, though. Bow had a much better one for this moment. 

"Hey, Ryu," he called. "Where are we going?" 

"I don't really know," answered the dragon, from what seemed to be a mile in front of the other two. 

*** 

Rand looked despondently upon the dancing Spar and his robotic companions. 

"How are we gonna get through?" Sten asked, though in truth he did not really expect an answer. 

"I've got it!" Katt cried. "Let's dare 'em!" She slapped her buttocks as she mooned the robots. "C'mon, you metallic morons! I dare you! Come get us! You'll never get a better chance." 

_You'll never get a better chance....You'll never get a better chance....better chance..._ Something in Rand snapped. "I'll never get a better chance," he moaned mournfully. He howled in anger and rushed the line of robots. Rand began pounding the unoffending automatons with his ham fists. 

_Crunch!_ "I'll..." _Smack!_ "...never..." _Smash!_ "..get..." _Wham!_ "..a better..." _Pow!_ "...CHANCE!!!!" Rand halted his attack, panting and sweating profusely. 

Katt looked at the big man in awe. Then, she sensed the source of his rage and winked provocatively at him, running her hands along her body, first her bare neck, then what the alien Nokzor had called her unusually large mammary organs, then her narrow waist, and finally her hips, the part of a woman that the majority of men found the most alluring. She licked her lips and swayed her hips at the big man. 

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Rand screamed, and launched himself at the remaining robots. Within seconds, they were nothing but scraps of tortured, misshapen metal. 

"Jesus," said Sten, staring at Rand. "What was that all about?" 

"Rand's a great fighter!" Katt said simply, and strolled past the wreckage to a bruised body. "Rand!" she accused. "You hurt Spar!" 

"Well, tell him I'm sorry when he wakes up," Rand said, trying to cast a healing spell on the Grass Man. Unfortunately, a healing weave took an enormous amount of calm which Rand simply did not and could not possess at this particular instant. He gave up and dropped a Help Ball on the half-plant, half-human being, hoping that Spar wouldn't remember exactly what occurred here after he, Spar, woke up. 

"Um," said Sten, still somewhat stunned by the actions which had occurred here, "let's move on. I think we're near where Ryu and the others are." 

*** 

Nina shuddered in the corner of the plant-filled room, as the tears began flowing down her face. "I just can't...Ryu...my black wings...it's just too much." 

She knelt, trying to grasp the smooth wall for comfort. "I just don't think I can do it," she lamented. "It's like I'm going to kill myself. Oh, God," she prayed, forgetting the suspicions she and the others had about the Church, "please help me. I'm afraid." 

"Who is this 'God'?" asked an unfamiliar voice. 

Nina whirled around, standing up, then looked down, as the newcomer was less than four feet tall. One of the aliens looked up at her, his bug-eyes wide with curiosity. 

"Um," Nina said, "God is the spirit which created us, and sustains us. No matter which religion you subscribe to, the concept of 'God' is prominent." 

"I see," Nokzor said, enraptured. "So this 'God', he gave you all the gifts of life?" 

"Yes," answered Nina softly. 

Nokzor looked thoughtful. "Including the gift of what occurs between a 'man' and a 'woman'?" 

"I suppose," said Nina. 

"And you want to share this gift with your friend Ryu?" asked Nokzor. 

Nina shivered. "Yes," she answered with conviction. 

"And he does not want what you do?" Nokzor prodded. 

Nina lowered her head. "I'm not sure, but it doesn't seem like it---and I want it so much! It's like we were destined to be together, but he doesn't see it at all!" 

"This Ryu is a fool," Nokzor stated. "He is stupid for not wanting a female such as you." 

"Yes," Nina agreed, "but I can't put him out of my mind. I couldn't give myself to any other man." 

Nokzor's black eyes brightened. "I am not a man," he explained. 

"Yes," Nina concurred. 

"Let me be your Ryu," Nokzor urged, waving his hand. 

Nina found herself overcome with an urgent need. She sank down to the floor, trying not to let out a cry of desire. Nokzor's small hands were all over her body, and her pleasure tripled as four new appendages emerged, stroking what seemed to be every inch of her. 

"Oh!" she cried. "Oh, Ryu!" 

Nokzor flinched, but did not stop. 

*** 

Zorkon put the last circuit into place. "That should do it," he said in his own language. "Computer, let's touch down on the planet." 

"Compliance," said the computer, and the spaceship began to lower. 

*** 

"Damn," said Ryu, staring at the campfire, "that was weird." 

They had been promptly thrown out of the ship once it had "landed." That Zorkon guy said they were far too dangerous for study, and had insisted they leave immediately. Ryu managed to swipe a couple of boxes of Quaker Life Cereal™ from the aliens before they were kicked out, and was quite proud of that fact. 

"I had fun," Katt insisted. 

"Sure," said the old Yraali, whose name they had still not figured out. "You were violated physically over forty-seven times during your stay on the spaceship." 

"Hmm," said Katt. "I only counted twelve. I must have been asleep for the rest." She seemed angry at that fact. 

"I had a good time, too," said Nina, blushing. She puckered her lips together and began producing a strange sound. 

"What are you doing, Nina?" asked Bow. 

"Oh," she replied, "something one of the aliens taught me. It's called 'whistling.'" She whistled a familiar tune, one of the hymns to St. Eva. 

"That's cool," Ryu said. "Could you teach me how to do that, Nina?" 

"Sure," the winged princess replied with a twinkle in her eye. 

"Look," Sten said. "Let's just forget about this whole fiasco and focus on our purpose." 

"Yeah," Rand added, trying not to think about things which disturbed him. "We've gotta stop the Church of St. Eva." 

"I've got an idea," Bow put forth. "Let's never speak of the things which happened here again. If we don't talk about it, we won't think about it." 

"Sounds good," Ryu said. 

"Alright," Katt agreed reluctantly. 

The silence around the bonfire was only broken by the chirping of crickets and locusts. 

"So," Ryu brought up, "how's the TownShip developing?" 

"I believe that Kay has finally finished the construction of her infirmary," Spar suggested. Spar was currently rooted in the earth, trying to re-adjust himself to he phase of the moon, which was at a waxing gibbous stage. 

"_Mes amis_," said Jean, "what are you talking about?" The prince of SimaFort, as always, was slightly confused as to what went on, which meant that he had already adopted Bow's "forgettance" plan in earnest. 

"Let's just go to sleep," Rand said, strained. 

And so they did, with Wyndia just one day's travel ahead. 

FIN

_**Author's Notes:** You may have noticed that this story took a slightly different tone than my other Breath of Fire tales. I wrote this to get a feel for the group as a whole, a sort of ensemble piece, as my other stories tended to focus on two or three characters. I wanted to know how they interacted as a team before moving on. _

While "Moondance" takes a light tone, as do my other works, I may try to downplay this aspect somewhat in later stories, or maybe not. Let me know what YOU think. Reader input matters to me, so tell me whether you want to see more or less humor in the future. 

By the way, the things Sten says up near the beginning were taken from the "Sten" series by Allan Cole and Chris Bunch. If you want to read more about the "Sten Adventures," which as I understand it, actually have little to do with Breath of Fire II, visit your local library. The first title is, appropriately enough, "Sten." 

Jean is currently insisting that I have characterized him incorrectly, and he wants to see more of himself, as in "Quite Princely." He is quite adamant that HE is the true hero of the Breath of Fire Saga, even though he only appeared in one actual chapter, number two. 

Meanwhile, Rand says he needs to get more chicks. Sten tells them both to shut up, and that his tortured past is just what needs to be explored in the next tale. 

Ryu and Bow say they don't really care what happens, but maybe the readers have always wondered what happened to them between their meeting with Barubary and their initiation into the Ranger Guild. 

Nina wants to know if Mina will ever be saved from the Great Bird, Katt just wants to get drunk and get into fights, but I've told her repeatedly not to fight me. I don't have a death wish. 

Spar has no interest in my stories, but he does applaud my writing on-line because I don't waste paper that way. 

Hmmmm.... 

**This Author's Note brought to you by Detrol L.A., for overactive bladder.**


End file.
